Grandma....

Grandma did pass away last evening. Addison & I went to the nursing home to hug my dad, etc... after she was gone. We went into Grandma's room when our pastor came to speak with the family. After we got in the car I started to cry and Addison wanted to know why I was crying, I just said I was said because I'll miss Grandma now that she's gone to be in Heaven.... Addison just said "she's not in Heaven mom, she's still laying in bed."Top:Christmas 2009-- Grandma with her children
Middle: Christmas 2009-- Grandma with some of her grandchildren
Bottom: Christmas 2009-- Grandma with some of her great-grandchildren

Can I say failure?!

So, obviously I need to go to bed-- it's past 9:30-- Isaac will probably be awake in about 2 hours, Matt will be home from work by then too...... needless to say-- I'll be woken up AT LEAST twice tonight, and that's a positive outlook. :)

I was just looking through random people's blogs and I found that I have failed as a mother! :) TONS of blogs (I just clicked the button that said "next blog" at the top) are about people's children, and I will admit-- all of these bloggers only had one child and all of these only children were under age 1...... but still, these parents go through month by month posting pictures and little ditties about what their kids is doing each month. And Megan, I know you're good at this too.....

I, for one, cannot tell you anything BIG about Isaac's 6 months of life. I can tell you he's 6 months, weighs over 18 pounds, laughs very heartily and loves to eat-- and that he bite me (while he was nursing) tonight....... Other than that, all these beautiful little lists that these wonderful parents can make about their children-- I can't do it.

Hope my kids will forgive me for it. Luckily I never did it for the first born-- so the 3rd born can't tell me that he was left out! ;) I can admit though that Addison had 3 photo albums complete of her by 3 months...... Isaac doesn't even have an album at 6 months-- I mean, there are pictures to put in, but I don't have a book to put them in yet!

Good night!

Death

My Grandma Pickard has been failing in health for the past year.... last summer she wasn't doing well and they thought she would pass away before the summer was over. She's held on this long-- and really was doing pretty well over the last few months, however the end of February she went to the hospital and spent at least a week there-- and was then released to the nursing home. She's retaining fluids, has heart failure, kidney failure, etc.... her body is shutting down. She's on a lot of pain meds and they have stopped with her other medications, so it's seems to be a waiting game right now.

I've been trying to find the right words to talk to Addison about Grandma dying. I didn't want to tell her that she's "sick" or "old" because little kids can sometimes get the wrong idea and associate these words with anyone who we say is "sick" or "old".... My mom and sister suggested I just tell Addison that Grandma is getting ready to go to Heaven and live with Jesus there. Tonight while driving home from church (in the dark), I decided it was time to talk to her about it-- so I just said "Addison did you know that Grandma Pickard is getting ready to go to Heaven and live with Jesus".... she said "Yeah, so she's dying?" I was shocked she put that together so fast. After that her concerns were "who's going to live at her house", "who else is going to die right now" (we just had Matt's uncle die a couple weeks ago).....

It's very interesting to speak with a 4 year old about death-- and to see all the pieces getting put together for them. To have 2 funerals in a matter of weeks (I assume) seems a little confusing too-- but she has asked some of the most amazing questions about death: where do we go when we die, won't we miss the person who dies, how do we get to Heaven, etc....